She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
