How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
