in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I have fence marks all over my body
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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