In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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