remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
