Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
