Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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