I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
