I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
