I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize