i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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