Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
