Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
