I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
