Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize