R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
