five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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