i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
