cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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