That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
