Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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