Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
