I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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