well I can't set my house on fire every night
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i dont even know how to be here
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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