hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
