WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
