A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
