So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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