I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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