how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize