Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize