now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
