I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
