Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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