Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
