Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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