Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
