I will die if light touches me.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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