Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
