yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
