if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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