Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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