you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
