Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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