Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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