what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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