I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
