what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
