Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize