Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
