He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
