so explain again why im purple
no
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
