i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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