Say something about gay babies.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
