Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
