I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize