i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
