take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
