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• (415): View more from California

  I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?

  (510): View more from California

  I hope so

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• (941): View more from Florida

  well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.

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• (863): View more from Florida

  I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.

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