I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
