I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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