Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
