Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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