had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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