I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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